………..So I was on the bus bound for the Plain of Jars…….and this bus was…..Public!!!! So I assumed the crash position and braced myself for the long 10 hour journey along the mountain roads, and as I got on I noticed a geezer “bowling” down the aisle. Only this “bowl” wasn’t that of a brother from the ghettos of South Central LA (or Barking for that matter!!!!;-) ). No, this bowl was more like the limp of a cripple who’d forgotten which part of his body went first!!! Then, as he sat down, I noticed the machine gun that was under his coat, with the barrel tucked down the inside of his trouser leg! What the Fuck?!!! It’s a bloody Hijacker!!!!!!
I was gonna tell the driver about it, then remembered part of the conversation I’d had with Rory. He said there were a lot of Terrorist Groups in Laos (or freedom fighters – depends on your perspective and what they do……personally, I think the most dangerous terrorist organisation in the world is the United States Government, but that’s my opinion……….and no doubt cos this mail contains the words terrorist and US Government in the same sentence its probably just been automatically intercepted by MI6!!!!!….hope they laugh at the funny bits………shall I add them to my list!!!!! 😉 ), and they’ve been known to hijack buses along the mountain roads, so now every bus had its own plain clothes armed guard ready for an attack…….so I clocked that this geezer must be our very own superhero!!!!!….. he did look quite hard……..I was happy!!!! 🙂
Rory also said that the mountainous areas that the French included within the boarders of Laos when they colonised it, were not actually Laos at all. Almost every valley in the mountainous regions had its own people, identity and dialect……..and that’s what the bomb that went off days earlier in Vientienne was really about. The groups were fighting/terrorising for their own autonomy…… and to further increase the bounds of ignorance…….. the French spelt the name Laos wrong anyway, putting an S in a place where, frankly, an S has no right to be!!!!! 🙂
In fact…. the only people who seem to bloody know how to spell Laos properly are the owners of Laos’s favourite beer……..the appropriately named – Beer Lao!!!!! No doubt they were pissed when they made the label!!!! As well as, for that matter, the producers of Laos’s greatest vice…….. the spirit which is commonly known as – Lao Lao!!!! I’m sure whenever the people of Laos sample its finer qualities, their spirit turns all maudlin and they reminisce of the time when Laos was Lao!!!!! 🙂 Either that or the word in Lao for alcohol is……… Lao!!!!! 🙂 No wonder the Lao people seem so happy!!!! Well…….. apart from the freedom fighters…………. who dont want any of it!!!! 😉
The next few hours were spent negotiating the mountain passes, driving wonderfully close to the edges!!!…….. I tell you what, the journey was like the last scene from the Italian Job….. except we didn’t go crashing over the edge and have to wait for Michael Caine’s great idea!!!!!;-)……..but we did pass a bus which must have been hi jacked days earlier….and to be honest……..their work looked like that of terrorists to me!!!!! At one point our guard got up and started looking vigilant and I thought “Here we go…….. he knows something we dont”….but he turned out to be looking for the spot where there would be a changing of the guard!!!! …..and we ended up getting the Laos equivalent of Robbie from EastEnders in exchange!!!!!……Fantastic!!!…. I felt really safe then!!!! 😦
But after the long hours of experimenting with every sitting position possible, other then sitting on my face….. we arrived at the town by the Plain of Jars. Throughout the journey, I’d been unable to get Nicole out of my mind…… and my head was getting more fucked by the hour, especially with all the time I’d had to think and mow things over. I didn’t know what to think or what to do.
I felt so confused over things….. it was all fucked up man…….. none of it felt fair and I was on the otherside of the world powerless to do anything about anything…….. it was all I’d ever wanted to share an experience like this with someone…… and all I wanted to know was if she loved me enough to join me…………. I’d received a flurry of texts since I’d come back into mobile range, full of love and commitment, but without decision……… time was moving on and it still didnt feel like she was communicating with me properly or telling me the whole story.
What?….. Should I’ve just got on with my life and forget about her without knowing for sure what was going on?……… Yeah I thought of that……….but how could I?……….. I fucking Loved her!!!!!!!! And at that point, what I wanted most in the world was her to be with me. So I figured I should just give her more time and try my best to understand. So, with my head fucked once again……. thats exactly what I decided to do.
Well……….. until I’d spent a day at the Plain of Jars that is……….
Love and Light,
Miller
The Adventures of Miller 