Miller and the Ayers Rock Adventure Part V

So……..  I carried on enjoying the sight of the Big Red Fella, out of the back window of the camper, as he faded into the distance and became a silhouette as the light began to fail. The English couple dropped me off by my hotel and I thanked them….. what a touch!!!

I bowled into the hotel grounds, leaving the bike outside reception and in full view of the bar, so that when Liam came along he was bound to clock it, and then I went off for some munch…… baked beans on toast were the order of the day!!!!! What would I do without that wonderful cuisine?!!!!

So after refuelling and having a shower I headed down to the bar for a cheeky couple, just to be social and because I had arranged to meet Liam and buy him a couple of beers too, but when I got there, he was nowhere to be seen and the bike remained where I had left it. I spotted the women I was sitting next to on the plane from Sydney, so I went across and sat with them. They were with a Scottish woman, who was quite lively and jolly, and as soon as I sat down I caught that look from her…….. you know what look guys……. that look you get from a bird that lasts about ½ a second too long and when you catch it…….. you know……… you’re in business!!!! 😉

When the English women left I stayed talking with her and we got onto the subject of the Rock, and I started talking about the amazing day I’d just had…. and then she suddenly stopped me in mid-sentence with this totally judgmental expression on her face and said “What…. you’ve been up there?” ….”Yeah, I did… because it felt right to…..have you?” I replied. Then she said in this totally judgemental voice “No…. because the Aborigines have asked me not to”.

Now it wasn’t just what she said…it was the tone of voice she used, the body language and the manner in which she said it…. it was that complete judgemental “I’m morally superior to the rest of the world” attitude and it really got my goat………. I was sitting next to an extreme white liberal!!!!!! AAAARRRGGGGHHHH !!!!!!!!!!!….. So me being me…. I decided to challenge her….

“So when did the Aborigines ask you not to go up there?” I asked. “What ?” she replied…“Have you ever spoken to an Aborigine about going up there?” I rephrased my question “No…. it says so on the sign there”…. ahh right I thought….no effort to try and communicate with these people…. just read the shit you’re told to believe!!! So I went onto explain that I had spoken with an Aborigine about going up there, that very morning… namely Luke, and he hadn’t expressed he found it offensive in any way…

*But anyway…. offence is just a perspective….. what’s offensive to one person, may not be to another…. it just depends on your own personal view on reality……. so why restrict your own personal experience of life based on the perspective of someone else…. the answer is you shouldn’t….. you should just follow your own heart and experience the things it feels right for you to experience and don’t worry about what anyone else thinks. In fact, since I’ve been in Australia, I haven’t had a conversation with one Aborigine who has indicated that they have a problem with me going up the Rock…. not one….. but I’m continually told by westerners that that’s the case!!!!! Maybe I’ve just met the Aborigines who don’t give a fuck!!!!*

……and so I continued to explain that my reasons for going up there were spiritual (that’s why I was there for the Spring Equinox) and I had positive intentions, and as long as you treat the rock with respect and don’t damage it in anyway…. then I didn’t believe there should be a problem with anyone going up there. She said “But it is being damaged…. There’s a black line up the side of it where people walk and I think it’s disgusting!!!”

Oh….. the faint black line…. yes, there is as it happens…. but its got nothing to do with the rock being damaged or mistreated in anyway….. you see… the Big Red Fella is in fact….. wait for this ladies and gentleman, cos you might find it a bit of a shock… and if the information hadn’t crossed my path and I hadn’t asked the right questions, I wouldn’t have believed it myself!!!………. BLACK!!!!!

I know, I know….. I saw this picture a guy called Grant had of it on the screen save of his computer. I asked why it was black and he told me that that was its true colour and that he had taken the picture after there was some heavy rain. Apparently the Rock has metallic mineral properties and when it reacts with the air it oxidises and turns red…. Just like rust on a car!!! When it rains all the composite gets washed off!!!! So the trail is just where people are exposing the true face of the Big Black Fella!!!!

Anyway, after an awkward silence I made a couple of jokes and we moved on, then I saw Chris turn up and so I went and joined him and a bunch of the other resort workers. He introduced me to everyone and I sat next to this beautiful girl called Vici. She was half white and half pacific islander and exuded a wonderfully positive energy. She immediately offered to buy me a drink (along with everyone else… I wasn’t that lucky!!) and went to the bar. Chris immediately saw the look on my face and said….”Don’t go there buddy…. you aint seen her boyfriend”…. Fuck it… I could wish couldn’t I!!!! 🙂

Anyway, after about an hour or so of chatting with Vici, Chris, and a couple of others, everyone was going back to the workers accommodation to party and they invited me along. On the way there Vici was trying to convince me to go for a job there, saying they always need people, and I was thinking about it. Then we got into workers area…. and oh my god…. its massive…. like another town…. only this town is like a holiday camp and every house has a mandatory spreading of empty beer cans and bottles….. Where were the full ones!!!!!!!!!!!

We eventually tracked down the party and Chris was trying to make me aware of where we were because it was like a maze, with everywhere looking the same. We cracked open a couple of beers and then Vici returned with her boyfriend. Chris turned to me and gave me this all knowing look and said… ”You see!”. And, Oh My God…. could I see!!!!!

Now the first thought that any guy has when he see’s Vici and her Norwegian boyfriend together is…..”HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN?!!!”. This thought is closely followed by an equally disbelieving thought…”YOU LUCKY BASTARD!!!!” The geezer was your usual build for a Viking, with a skinhead and a goat beard that only grew from the middle of his chin!!!!! He had piercing on his eyebrows, nose, lips, ears and tongue!!!! Nowhere was left untouched or unpierced…. at least as far as I could see!!!! And it was supplemented by strategically positioned tattoos on his head and arms!!!!! …..Bloody hell………women are still an enigma to me!!!! What can you do??? But he turned out to be quite a cool guy…. oh well.

After a while I met other people and got invited to the staff night club, so went with the flow and checked it out. It wasn’t too bad in there, but by about 2.30 am I was ready to go and got directions back to my hotel. Now, I happened to ask someone, who was already very drunk, for directions and when someone who’s drunk gives you directions…. they’re quite hard to follow and I was having trouble…. and it comes to a point where you start looking stupid if you keep asking for them to be repeated, and so I just left it as…. ”Right… I go that way do I?” and headed off into the distance….. and what a distance it was!!!!!!

I was walking around in circles, not knowing where the fuck I was, for about an hour…. I swear…. it was like A Nightmare on Elm Street!!! Whatever direction I walked in…I ended up back in the same place and there was no one about!!!! And I tell you what….I’d just accepted the fact that I’d probably be walking around in circles till dawn, when I saw a car driving towards me in the distance. I flagged it down and the geezer in the car recognised me……apparently I’d been talking to him in the club (I had no idea who he was!!!). They’d all seen that I’d left and were concerned about if I’d get back OK!!! Well obviously fucking not!!!!!!! 🙂

I goes “Bud…you gotta help me…. I’ve got absolutely no idea where I am!” and then I told him the name of my hotel and he goes ”Oh…its just over there”. ……Shit….. Fuck …. Bollocks…. Wanker…. just behind this row of trees was my bed!!!!!!! I was 50 yards from home and I’d been walking past it for the past hour!!!!! But if I hadn’t have been told I would never have known….. I was totally lost, and even though he told me where it was …. it still didn’t look right!!!! I thanked him and found my way back and was in bed by 4am….. what a day!!!!

I woke up at 8.30am… and weren’t feeling too bad, so got me act together as I knew I had to sort a way out of this place or get a job. So I brushed meself up and headed to reception to ask about work. When I got there I asked if I could see the human resources guy. The bird said he was busy in the office (just behind reception), but to fill in this application form. I did so and handed it back. Then she goes that she couldn’t accept it….. I was like…. ”Why?”….. “Because you havent filled in a contact phone number”!!!! I was like…. What the fuck… I’m HERE!!!!! So I asked “Cant you just go into the office and tell him I’m here and interested in work?”….she replied ”No that’s not our policy…. you need a contact number so we can contact you”….. WHAT?????…. I’M FUCKING HERE NOW YOU TWAT!!!…. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing…. this is a place which is constantly crying out for people to work there and she was behaving like some kind of jobsworth robot!!! “Cant I just have a quick word with the guy?’ I said, “No…. put your number down and he’ll phone you”….. So I wrote down my number and just as I did a bloke, who also worked on reception, passed by and whispered in my ear “You’re making a mistake…. you really don’t want to work here”…. and then he slipped off!!! I was getting the picture!!!!

So I walked out and was set on finding the best way out of here to Kings Canyon, and clocked the resort car hire place. I walked in and asked the girl working there “What was the price for the cheapest car to hire for the day as I’m trying to weigh up the costs with that compared to a bus or tour”…… (Oh my God….. that fake smile again and eyes that have nothing behind!!!!).

“So you want our smallest car then sir” she said….”Well if it’s the cheapest…. then yes….but I actually just want a price” I replied…. “What day do you want it for” she continued….”No…it doesn’t matter…I just want a price…any day…. just you’re cheapest price” I answered, already seeing that this was starting to become difficult!!! “Well, where do you want to go” she said, “It doesn’t matter, just give me the cheapest price of your cheapest car with unlimited milage for one day” I said, trying to make my enquiry as bullet-proof as possible!!!…..”I’m sorry sir, by law we have to know where you wish to take the car” she replied in a computer monotone!!!!…… ”But I just want a price…. ok then…. Alice Springs” I said, becoming exasperated!!! “I’m afraid I cant help you then” she declared…. ”What… Why?” I said in confusion……. ”We don’t allow our cars to go to Alice Springs”……. AAARRRGGGHHH FOR FUCKS SAKE…. was she having some kind of bubble bath or what?!!!!!

“Look… please help me……. cant you just give me a price for a day…. any price….. it doesn’t even have to be the right one” I said, almost throwing in the towel….. ”Well where do you want to go?” she said in all seriousness!!!!

AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! I was ready to slap her!!!!!! But just in the nick of time I saw a leaflet with all their prices for their different classes of cars…. and right at the top was their smallest model for $77 per day….. UUURRREEEIIKKKAAAA!!!!! So I says, pointing to the leaflet….. ”So that’s the price of your smallest car for the day is it?”…….. “No” she said “It doesn’t include surcharges and taxes”…. Blimey!!!…“OK, then” I said, managing to still keep my composure…. “So including surcharges and taxes…. What’s the price of your smallest car for a day?” I said. She punched a few buttons on the keyboard and then said “$114”.

“Well, thanks very much…. that’s all I wanted!” and I stormed out of there a quickly as possible!!!!!! Oh my God…. the bird was blatantly a muppet…. but the worst thing was that throughout the entire conversation she talked to me as If I was the muppet!!!!!! It was like a scene from Monty Python!!!! I swear… I had to get out of this place!!!!!!

So I went to the tourist office and to cut a long story short I booked on a tour that included Kings Canyon on the way to Alice Springs. Liam’s bike was still by reception…. so I just left it there and chilled out for the rest of the day. I never got a call from Human resources though….I didn’t switch my phone on!!!!! 🙂

In the evening I popped down to the bar and saw Vici having a beer. She beckoned me over and I told her (and the group of 4 others who were gathered around) about the events of my day and everyone was cracking up!!!! Vici couldn’t believe that they were being such arse wipes about the job situation…. especially cos they were so understaffed.

The topic went onto Ayers Rock, and it turned out that even though Vici had been at the resort for 3 months, she hadn’t gone up the Rock. An Aussie guy, who was there, and who apparently had been up a number of times, asked…. quite non-judgementally…. Why she hadn’t gone up there? Vici replied wonderfully and the way she answered exemplified how her physical beauty was a reflection the beauty she held within……she answered…. in an equally non-judgemental tone…. “Because I choose not to.”

And that’s it in a nutshell….. that’s what this life’s all about….. personal choice. Everyone smiled and had complete respect for her. How was it possible for you not to? Beautiful.

I got on to talking about the bike, which was still standing outside reception, and Vici said….. ”Oh My God…. you’re the tourist Liam gave his bike to?!!!!”… I goes “Yeah…. but how did you know about it?”. She went onto tell me that they were good friends and a couple of days ago Liam had come back saying that he’d just done a crazy thing…. he’d just given his bike away to a tourist he didn’t even know!!!!! When she told him that he was mad he said…. “Its ok…. my Karma will bring it back to me!”.

I said “I owe the geezer a few of beers…. is he quite spiritual then?” . Vici said “Yeah” and I gave her my email to give to him. She said she’ll keep it too and she’d take the bike back to him!!! So it looked as if he was right about his karma after all!!!!

With that I said my goodbyes and headed off to bed. I had an early start in the morning and I had to be up for ……   The Kings Canyon Adventure! 🙂

Love and Light,


P.S. Oh….. and on the subject of how long the Aborigines have been the keepers of the Rock for. Well, I met a man in Darwin who I asked that question to and his answer resonated with me:”Since the beginning of time” he said. And that’s what I believe to be the truth. Since the beginning of dream time.

Author: Lee D Miller

I'm a bloke from Barking who has travelled the world and done his best to learn and enlighten. There's so much to learn and you cant do it all in a classroom. The World is the classroom and it's important that people wake-up to that fact.

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