……So Tadlo was an amazing place, and the next day I did an elephant ride through the jungle……its so serene and peaceful riding on an elephant, the movement of the elephant as it walks is so relaxing and we went quite a way out through the outlying villages further down the river. And when I got back I decided to change pads and move to a bungalow by the river, as the one I was in was damp and full of termites!!!!!
So I swapped over, paying the extra dollar per night…(the woman at my new digs did me a deal and apparently I wasnt supposed to tell anyone)…..so now I had a much nicer room, with a stunning view and a balcony with hammock to boot!!!! Lovely Jubilee!!!! 🙂 And as I moved in , the original bird who clocked me came over and stood by my door…..I’m not sure why, she didnt say anything……she was just looking at me. I invited her in but she wouldnt cross the threshhold…..and after a few minutes she left……bloody hell!!!!!………. I so wanted to….!!!!!;-)
Now, the other thing about Tadlo that I loved…………was the fact that there was no internet……no phone……and for the first time on my trip….no mobile phone signal!!!! I immediately felt a different kind of freedom……a freedom you so readily forget when you’re surrounded by technology and electrical communication facilities. I hadnt the chance to get in touch with Nicole, even if I wanted to………and she couldnt contact me………it did me the world of good.
I actually came to a realisation while I was there, which actually proved to me that what I felt for her was completely different to what I’ve ever felt for a woman before………I HAD NO FEAR!!!!…..I’d never been with someone and not been afraid that they may be unfaithful to me….but what I felt for Nicole transcended that…….I didnt care!!!….It didnt matter!!!!….whatever she did was fine…..cos I knew that would be part of her path……..all that mattered was that she’d come back to me……and by what she said she felt the same way………we never demanded anything of eachother.
But when I was in Thailand i sent her text and said “I know I’m free……but I choose to use that freedom to be faithful to you” and she recipricated. Now I know there may be people out there who think thats a fucking nonsense and I’m a twat…….but you know what …..I dont give a fuck!!!! Cos its my truth!!!! If my hearts with a girl….then shes all I need….. or want…….and sex?…..what is it without that spiritual connection? SHIT thats what it is….hedonistic bullshit….unless you meet someone else you share a connection with.
At least for me anyway….everyone has their own truth. But the thing is……once you’ve experienced sex which has that deep connection and is steeped in love…..nothing else can compare….its fucking;-) amazing…..and nothing else will do or can compare….its at a far deeper level which satisfies your being and takes you places where nothing else can touch…………….and those one night stands with “someone who will just do”……..yeah, I’ve had those……and to be Anne Frank……I’d rather have a wank!!!!……and compared with a girl I aint got chemistry with…….I find a tommy tank gives me much more satisfaction!!!!! 😉 Its just the way I am and I make no apologies for it.
Infact………..I love being faithful to a girl…..it makes me feel good and the relationship feel special………….why shouldnt you feel good about being faithful to someone?……if you’ve been lucky enough to find someone who fulfils you completely…..on all levels, but especially sexually……..why would you feel the need to go looking for that elsewhere? I know a lot of people do that and feel they can justify that within themselves…..and I know its different if you happen to find something by “chance”…..but to look for it………its just not something I understand……and thats why it felt easy to be faithful to Nicole….even though she didnt expect that of me…..and I didnt expect that of her…..its just something I wanted to do……
…….even with that Laos woman about…..I wouldnt go there would I?…….Would I???????? 😉
That evening when I went to the local, I saw a bird sitting by herself, so I asked to join her for dinner. She turned out to be Canadian and we had a nice chat………then I noticed she went quiet for a bit and I saw a look in her eyes…..and when I look in peoples eyes I generally feel what they’re thinking…..”You’re thinking about someone you love arent you” I said randomly. “Yeah…..how did you know?”…. “I noticed the moisture in your eyes” I said. “Do you think age gap matters in a relationship?” she replied straight to the point… “Not at all…..what matters is your connection with that person” I said and continued to tell her about the person I’d just fell in love with. “But I’m afraid the person I love just wants me for my money” she said and continued to explain.
It turned out she’d met a guy recently who was 20 and she was 33 (she only looked 23 for fucks sake….I was flabergasted!!!!)…..and he was everything she wanted but he was from South America and was low on cash and had asked her for a hand out. I said “Well follow your heart and dont base your opinion about him on fear”….”I’m not basing it on fear” she declared!!!! “But you said that you were afraid about him wanting your money” I explained “But that doesnt mean I’m judging by fear” she said. “Of course it does…….thats even exactly what you said” I continued. “Look…I dont want to argue about it!!!” she replied.
Gor blimey!!!! I didnt realise I was arguing about anything!!!! And we proceeded to enter a 5 minute silence…..which….I felt very uncomfortable in!!! And during that time I’d finished my meal and decided to depart…..and as I rose from my chair I said “Look…I didnt mean to upset you in any way…..but you did ask for my opinion and thats what I gave…..I hope you have a nice evening” and then I scapered!!!! 🙂 Bloody hell….that felt a bit over the top!!!! So I went to bed!!!! 🙂
The next day was chilled……I got up, went back across to the other lodge, where they had a resturant, had some breakfast (always toast, eggs and black coffee (it was a coffee plantation area….be rude not to!!!!…..and I was turning into a bloody egg as it was generally the only thing on the menu my stomach could muster……otherwise Gandhi kept getting his Revenge!!!!! 😉 ) then went and sat in my hammock, on my balcony, over looking the falls and began to read a book by that Castenella fella which my second cousin Lorraine had lent to me at some point the previous year………
……I’d had it with me ever since, and was just waiting for the right time to read it. Well today was the day!!!! And I read……….which sometimes I find quite difficult because when I read my mind always seems to wander off in all kinds of different tangents!!!!! Its like sometimes I’ll read something….and it’ll trigger off a chain of thoughts leading to a revelation of something that it feels like I’ve previously forgot. Something I’ve always known………yet…………. couldnt remember.
After lunch and a swim, I returned to my hammock and was sitting there when I glanced up towards the Laos village and noticed a load of kids playing in a large clearing which the village encompassed. So I thought….. “I wanna Play too!!!!” :-), so I got up and wandered over. The kids were playing randomly………..and as I’m a sports coach and activity leader I set about getting their attention in order to play some games!!! It was funny cos I was marking out lines in the dirt and everyone was looking at me wondering what the fuck this crazy Englishman was doing……but you’ll be surprised how far a smile goes to reassure people and gain their trust!!!!
So I called the kids in, with some adults watching curiously in the background, and began to teach them the rules of bulldog!!!!…..without the aid of verbal language!!!!…..and just through sheer demonstative effort…..slowly but surely……they learnt the game!!!!….And how much did they bloody LOVE IT!!!!!! It was so much fun………even all the adults who were sitting watching had big smiles on their faces………….and there was that Laos woman again…..with the biggest smile of all………argggghhh…..dont go there!!!!! 🙂
I was gonna teach British Bulldog…….but I’m sure there would’ve been some fatalities!!!….so I just continued with chain-tag and Duck, Duck, Goose, and Gor Blimey……..some of them didnt have a clue what was going on with that one…..but they still enjoyed it all the same!!!:-)
After that I decided I wanted to have a wander further through the village and started to say my goodbyes to the kids…..they wouldnt let me go…….but through the language of sign…..I promised I’ll be back tommorrow. So off I trotted, as late afternoon started to become early evening. And on my travels I clocked a load of Laos men playing volleyball…….so I thought….I’ll have some of that, and bowled over!!!
Now, at first these geezers were a bit cold shouldered towards me, and no one really acknoledged my presence…..but I thought I’d hang about and wait for an opportunity to play…….and then after about half an hour of being ignored (it seemed very cliquey….almost like an English Badminton club!!!!), I was just about to walk off when some fellows dropped out of the game and there werent enough people to replace them……. C’est Bon Chance pour Le Anglaise Homme…..fafafa!!!! 🙂
And so I played!!! And lucky enough I’m quite handy at volleyball and they were pleased at my presence giving high fives everytime I did something special……..and even when I did something not so special!!!!……….I was in the Clique…….Hooray!!!!! 😉 And at the end they invited me to come back for the next day…..sweet as….sorted!!!! And so I went back every evening…..and I noticed a strange thing…..every night after the game had finished, there was always some arguing and money exchanging hands…..what was all that about? Surely they werent hiring the court and paying subs!!!!! But as the the evenings went by it suddenly became clear to me…….They’d been betting on the result of the game!!!!!! And luckily enough for me, whatever team I happened to be on…..it was never the losing side!!!!!!! 🙂
So after I said my goodbyes and headed back for a shower, I went down the “local” for dinner and a beer………and that night…..the most special people crossed my path……….
Love and Light,
Miller
The Adventures of Miller 