Hey Guys…. Check this out –
“WARNING: Under New Zealand law it is extremely unlikely that you will be able to sue anyone if you are injured. In addition, New Zealand’s accident compensation scheme provides only limited assistance to visitors to New Zealand who are injured. We recommend that all visitors to New Zealand have full insurance covering any injury they might suffer, including medical treatment cover, before undertaking this activity.”
And that’s part of the agreement you have to sign when doing the adventure sports in Queenstown!!!! How bang on is that!!!!!!! Basically its saying you dont even have to be insured if you wanna do an activity……… its up to you………. but if you get injured after listening to the instructions, then its your own fault for being a TWAT……. and dont go crying and blaming anyone neither……… stroll on!!!!…… on crutches if you have to!!!!! I’m fucking loving this country!!!!! 🙂
And mate….. I’ve had a wickid couple of days!!!! Did the jet boat through the canyon, narrowly avoiding the rocks by inches at 50 mph and loving the 360 spins…. but it weren’t particulary white knuckle. I stuck me head over the side as we zoomed past the rocks…. but even that didnt dramatically increase the buzz. So I needed something which tested the adrenelin a bit more and I got it yesterday!!!!
Did the Canyon Swing, which is basically a 100m rope attached to another rope stretched across the canyon at about 150m above the river. You get harnessed in and then just …….. jump!!!! Its pukka!!! Did the first one jumping backwards and then I asked to do the ultimate one…… upside down, facing forwards with your hands reaching to the ground! You have to pull a cord to drop yourself from that position (Well its pretty hard to jump with your legs up in the air!!!!) and mate….. WHAT A FUCKING RUSH!!!!!!! I wish I had a bloody picture of the expression on my face as I free fell, for about 3 seconds, before the swing took motion….. it was bloody amazing!!!!……. you cant even help but to let out a little involuntary sream as you fall face first, feet from the side of the canyon seemingly only inches from the rocks as they pass you by!!!!….. at least I did…. what a man!!!! :-)…. I reckon I must’ve looked like some kinda cartoon caricature as plummeted to my …….buzz!!!!
I swear…….if I ever decide to commit suicide I’m going out like that!!!! What a buzz…. what a way to end it!!!! Those people at Beachy Head cliffs in Sussex have definitely got the right idea!!!!! Lucky bastards!!!!! I bet they were buzzing when they met their maker!!!! And I reckon God’s a bit pissed everytime one of those guys comes through the tunnel and he sees their reaction……. I swear…….. you cant help laughing once its over!!!! 🙂
And woe betide if it’s the Catholic God they come across……. “You obviously haven’t learnt your earthly lessons…….. I’m sending you straight down to hell for your insolence!!!!!!”……..”Well….as long as I get to jump there!!!!!” has gotta be the only reply!!!! 😉
*Gotta put this in at this point. There’s a pub called The Thatch in the surfing resort of Croyde in North Devon, and in the gents toilets there’s the best poster I’ve ever seen. Just above the urinals….. smack bang in front of you, for your pleasure while you’re taking a jimmy, is a poster explaining how all the different religions of the world interpret the phrase…….. “Shit Happens”. This is it :
CATHOLIC – “IF SHIT HAPPENS………. YOU DESERVE IT!!!”
MUSLIM – “IF SHIT HAPPENS……… IT WAS THE WILL OF ALLAH.”
PROTESTANT – “I HOPE THIS SHIT DOESN’T HAPPEN TO ME!”
HINDU – “IF SHIT HAPPENS……… IT WAS MEANT TO BE.”
BUDDISM – “WHAT IS THIS SHIT?”
and last…. but my God…. by no means least…….
JUDDAISM – “WHY DOES THIS SHIT ALWAYS HAPPEN TO US!!!!!!!!”
How fucking funny is that?!!!!:-)….. its funny cos its true!!!!! I can totally relate to how I used to feel from being a protestant!!!! Bloody hell…….. the dogs, I do believe 😉 *
Anyway, after that, there was only one thing that I could do to top it………… and so in the afternoon I did a skydive………. and that took the dogs bollocks to an all new level!!!!!! 😉 Pukka day…. had by me!!! Yippee!!! 🙂
Love and Light,