So the next day I was on the bus to Tadlo falls. It was only $2 on the bus and I was told the place was 2 km from the road where I would be dropped off…..and this bus was an adventure in itself…..it carried everything on it!!!!!! From sacks of flour (which I helped the driver carry down the eisle….he was sweating his nuts off and was grateful and surprised of the help, but a couple of pairs of hands make for light work and I managed not to break into a sweat!!!)….to livestock ….boxes of this and that………and at one point we stopped to take a consignment of 15 ft lengths of 6 be 2 wood!!!!!….which sat down the eisle!!!
…..oh….and a few human passengers, including me….the only foreigner. It has to be said though….the humans appeared to be the least priority to the bus company, as all the “goods” had gotten the best seats!!!!:-) Still…..after you’ve been on a public bus in Laos, you’d realise its much more comfortable to sit on a sack of flour!!!!! Theres no leg room whatsoever and the seats appear to have been designed to accommodate a bunch of extras from the beginning of the yellow brick road in the wizard of oz!!!!!:-)
As I said, Tadlo turned out to be exactly what I needed at that moment in time as the past couple of weeks had been……..in the words of Vinny Jones and his 2 smoking barrels………emotional!!! :-)……
If you look back over my first emails I mentioned about Silnoukville (Cambodia) and that it rained all week….and that’s true…….. but in the lyrics of buddy holly……it was also “raining in my heart”;-)…….oh my god!!!…….what a wanker! I really am!….I’m leaving that in though……there comes a point where somethings so bad its good!!!! Look at Eddie the Eagle Edwards for fucks sake!!!!!! 🙂 But the truth really is it was one of the toughest times for me.
Since I’d left, Nicole had been saying she’d wanted to join me and was even saying she was sorting out her visa for Australia…..but nothing seemed to be happening and she appeared indecisive about the move……which I could understand in the circumstances, but I needed an answer one way or another…….but she wouldnt give me one…….her words were telling me one thing (that she wanted to join me)……but her actions were telling me something completely different (that she couldnt be fucked to)…..it was screwing my head up.
I felt like I was be made to hang on the end of a piece of string. Weeks were flying by and she didnt appear to know what she wanted to do………what was I supposed to do?……I didnt know…….all I knew was that I loved her and that I was prepared to do anything so that the dream of her joining me could be realised…………so I tried to understand where she was at ( I knew how hard it must be coming out of long relationship….having freedom for the first time and its a big step at anytime in your life to take your first step and travel)and called her regularly in what I thought would give her reasurance that I was there and I was being real about my intentions.
But everytime I spoke to her, she seemed less happy to hear my voice, although the words she used when she spoke to me were still full of love and optimism. It was confusing me and not making me feel good…..aswell as the fact that she consistently didnt keep her word when she promised to send a text or email…….I’d never asked her to promise to text or email me, but when someone does make that voluntary commitment and it doesnt materialise…..it doesnt make you feel very good…..especially when you’re in the arse end of nowhere and you’ve been making an effort to fulfill you’re promises……..successfully!!!
*And a word of advice………dont ever promise to send a text, letter, email or make a phone call to someone at a certain time when their travelling if you feel you cant keep to that commitment……..when you’re travelling on your own somewhere, with no one close to you about, those promises have a great deal more significance to your day, and when they dont materialise…..it doesnt feel good at all………..better to just suprise that person with your call or whatever……..that’ll mean the world to them!!!!:-) *
Personally, I never make a promise if I think there may be a chance I cant fulfil it…….and if I dont happen to fulfill it then there’ll be a damn good reason why……and the excuses of mickey mouse will be nowhere on the scene!!!! 🙂 But then, when those messages did materialise….they were deep and amazing….in every aspect except that of letting me know what was going on!
For days I wandered around with a pain around my heart that I pray I never have to experience again. From the moment I woke up till the moment I fell asleep, I felt like someone had put their hand deep within my chest, was pulling and trying to rip my heart out. I just wanted to be with Nicole. Every night when I returned to bed I just cried my eyes out…..for ages…..I was finding it hard to come to terms with the fact that I’d be shown something so precious….and then had it almost immediately been taken away from me……I was losing hope that she’d ever join me and it felt so cruel. I almost wished this love thing had never happened….but then I thought….you know what Lee….you’ve been lucky enough to experience something so special, no matter how long it lasted, you know true love is real now………it exists and its possible to feel like that about someone. Some people never get the chance in their whole lives to experience that .
And when I thought like that….I immediately felt better….well at least for 5 minutes…..then I was back to feeling sorry for myself again!!!!!!! 🙂 And that sensation was with me until that beautiful lady on the bus going to stung treng…..gave me an egg and shined so much light back into my life that I dont think I can ever repay her.
…………so the bus had dropped me off and I began to walk with my back pack the distance to the falls themselves……not wanting to bother with a ride. It was hot…but I was enjoying the walk and then just as I was on the outskirts of town a Laos woman come and joined me offering to take me to some bungalows for accomodation…….and bloody hell……for some reason……this woman had something about her…..
…..and bloody hell she was doing it for me!!!!! I’m walking along with her, with me back pack on, talking sweet nothings…..and she was giving me a… ahem!!!!! 😉 I could’ve done her there and then….the only draw back being that in Laos its ILLEGAL for a foreigners to sleep with their women!!!! How fucked up is that!!!!……….you lose control of your sexual urges and you’re looking at a stretch in a communist prison!!!!!…….She had a kid, but she seemed to be giving me the eye too!!!! Arrgggh….I couldnt handle this temptation “Take me anywhere you want, just make it fast!” I said as we walked along flirting abit along the way.
So I checked into her families lodgings and got a room for $1 a night…..it was cheapest anywhere I’ve been, the place also looked and felt so nice, and the people so friendly…….I immediately figured I’d stay for a while……and I really wouldnt mind….. ……arghhhh ………dont go there!!!!;-) It has to be said, Laos woman are gorgeous!!!! No wonder there were laws!!!!:-)
So I settled in and went out to do some exploring…. and Tadlo was so much more then I expected!!!
Love and Light,